May 19, 2010 at 11:34 AM (after chemo, Faith, Family, friends) (, , , , , , , , )

A lot can happen in four years. A college education. Marriage and a baby. A vast improvement in a hack tennis-player’s backhand (I hope).

A complete rearrangement of priorities, expectations, and attitudes. Oh, and internal organs.

Four years ago today I had my first surgery. Apparently, everyone but me knew it was going to be cancer. Not sure whether I was naïve or doing ostrich impressions, but there it is. The world changed.

I’d love to give you a neat list of all the things that I’ve learned since 2006. How to look for the silver lining; how to treasure each moment, to live in the present. But most days, I don’t manage to do those things, just like any other person. It’s only in hindsight that I (or anyone else) realize how fun/special/poignant each moment is, good or bad, painful or blissful, alone or together.

I have, however, discovered that inside my laissez faire, go-with-the-flow semi-slacker self lies a bit of a lioness, fiercely protecting my family from harm and loss and managing to eke out a few more years for myself in the process. Revelatory? Possibly. Hard? Definitely. I cry every week, but that’s still outweighed by the laughter. Which is actually a pretty good measure of any life, sick or well.

Here’s to four more. Thanks for listening.

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  1. Julie Matthews said,

    Happy Cancerversary!!!

    I’m raising my coffee cup to four more! 🙂
    I’m so glad I found your blog. You are an exceptional writer, and you express post-cancer emotions perfectly. So here’s to laughter and tears and the conquering of fears. 🙂


  2. Patricia said,

    Congrats on four years and counting!! Praying God will continue to bless you and your family and keep giving you His strength, love and miracles! xx’s, patricia ~ today is a good day…where am i going? what am i doing? ~ (first surgery 2/22/06!)

  3. Boston Mamas said,

    Well, hindsight is better than losing sight of those moments all together (oh crap, is that too silver lining of me??). You’re a rock star Sarah and I’m glad to know you. I look forward to many more laughs. Probably over shredded salad that doesn’t require a knife. -Christine

  4. Kim E aka Ovacom06 said,

    Woo Hoo!! I know the feeling at the end of some days all I can say is I tried! Congrats my friend!

  5. Jane said,

    Here’s to fourteen — nay — forty more.

  6. Jennifer said,

    My how time has passed and changed all of us! Just look at those two beautiful boys of yours! They have grown so much. I so wish we were closer so that our laughs wouldn’t only have to be over the telephone these days. You have always been a fighter, but it is important to remember that you don’t have to be good all of the time. Jenn

  7. cindy novick said,

    You’ll be around in 4…so, here’s to 40 more!!!!!!!!!!

  8. Ruthann said,

    Beautiful post, simply stated and well written. Here’s to many years ahead…

  9. sandhy said,

    here’s to 40 more. And I hear you.

  10. Mr. Wonderful said,

    Yeah, baby. 40 more! Love you.

  11. Catherine said,

    You were always good at laughter, creating it and participating in it, but tennis? I never saw that one coming!

  12. pateeta said,

    Congratulations! Cheers to 40 more!

  13. WhiteStone said,

    Carcinista, I sure do love your courage. And I acknowledge and understand the tears. And I’ll laugh with you any moment, any day, anytime. Laughter keeps me going.

  14. Dee said,

    Congrats on your Cancerversary. May you have many more years of good health, laughter and happiness.

  15. mom said,

    With you all the way…

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