Cancerversary
A lot can happen in four years. A college education. Marriage and a baby. A vast improvement in a hack tennis-player’s backhand (I hope).
A complete rearrangement of priorities, expectations, and attitudes. Oh, and internal organs.
Four years ago today I had my first surgery. Apparently, everyone but me knew it was going to be cancer. Not sure whether I was naïve or doing ostrich impressions, but there it is. The world changed.
I’d love to give you a neat list of all the things that I’ve learned since 2006. How to look for the silver lining; how to treasure each moment, to live in the present. But most days, I don’t manage to do those things, just like any other person. It’s only in hindsight that I (or anyone else) realize how fun/special/poignant each moment is, good or bad, painful or blissful, alone or together.
I have, however, discovered that inside my laissez faire, go-with-the-flow semi-slacker self lies a bit of a lioness, fiercely protecting my family from harm and loss and managing to eke out a few more years for myself in the process. Revelatory? Possibly. Hard? Definitely. I cry every week, but that’s still outweighed by the laughter. Which is actually a pretty good measure of any life, sick or well.
Here’s to four more. Thanks for listening.
I'm a two-and-a-half time ovarian cancer survivor who is not only determined to make it to sixty but also to look damn good while getting there. My two boys, husband, and dog are counting on me to get out of bed every day, so I might as well wear something cute and make each one COUNT. I'd love to hear from you about your odyssey - sharing makes it all easier to take. And laugh at.
The Carcinista 
Julie Matthews said,
May 19, 2010 at 11:41 AM
Happy Cancerversary!!!
I’m raising my coffee cup to four more! 🙂
I’m so glad I found your blog. You are an exceptional writer, and you express post-cancer emotions perfectly. So here’s to laughter and tears and the conquering of fears. 🙂
Julie
Patricia said,
May 19, 2010 at 11:44 AM
Congrats on four years and counting!! Praying God will continue to bless you and your family and keep giving you His strength, love and miracles! xx’s, patricia ~ today is a good day…where am i going? what am i doing? ~ (first surgery 2/22/06!)
Boston Mamas said,
May 19, 2010 at 11:45 AM
Well, hindsight is better than losing sight of those moments all together (oh crap, is that too silver lining of me??). You’re a rock star Sarah and I’m glad to know you. I look forward to many more laughs. Probably over shredded salad that doesn’t require a knife. -Christine
Kim E aka Ovacom06 said,
May 19, 2010 at 11:53 AM
Woo Hoo!! I know the feeling at the end of some days all I can say is I tried! Congrats my friend!
Jane said,
May 19, 2010 at 12:14 PM
Here’s to fourteen — nay — forty more.
Jennifer said,
May 19, 2010 at 12:37 PM
My how time has passed and changed all of us! Just look at those two beautiful boys of yours! They have grown so much. I so wish we were closer so that our laughs wouldn’t only have to be over the telephone these days. You have always been a fighter, but it is important to remember that you don’t have to be good all of the time. Jenn
cindy novick said,
May 19, 2010 at 2:24 PM
CHEERS!!
You’ll be around in 4…so, here’s to 40 more!!!!!!!!!!
Ruthann said,
May 19, 2010 at 2:32 PM
Beautiful post, simply stated and well written. Here’s to many years ahead…
sandhy said,
May 19, 2010 at 6:46 PM
here’s to 40 more. And I hear you.
x
Mr. Wonderful said,
May 19, 2010 at 10:52 PM
Yeah, baby. 40 more! Love you.
Catherine said,
May 19, 2010 at 11:23 PM
You were always good at laughter, creating it and participating in it, but tennis? I never saw that one coming!
pateeta said,
May 19, 2010 at 11:35 PM
Congratulations! Cheers to 40 more!
WhiteStone said,
May 20, 2010 at 10:07 AM
Carcinista, I sure do love your courage. And I acknowledge and understand the tears. And I’ll laugh with you any moment, any day, anytime. Laughter keeps me going.
Dee said,
May 20, 2010 at 10:37 AM
Congrats on your Cancerversary. May you have many more years of good health, laughter and happiness.
mom said,
May 20, 2010 at 2:28 PM
With you all the way…