Give Me a Break
The trial continues. Week Two of taking the fabulous drug daily, all nine capsules of it, and I’m beat. Possibly from the effort required to swallow nine capsules at once. I’ve never had a problem taking pills in the past, but this really frosts the cupcake. Why, in our era of superb medical advancement and death-defying technology, is this pharma company incapable of cramming 450 mg of my mystery drug into five capsules? Or three?
Aside from increasing my snark quotient, said mystery substance is wearing me out. Maybe it’s all the peristalsis, or maybe I’m just getting old. Or possibly since I’ve been actively fighting this beast for over eighteen months now without a break, I’m losing my elite-athlete-like (ha) endurance. I’m a lover, not a fighter. And I don’t think four weeks off to wash the Avastin out of my system counts as a break. Every time I stop to examine my alternatives, though, I realize: they suck. So back at it I go. But I’m really sick of:
- Flirting with nurses to make sure I’m the favorite
- Peeing in a cup
- Repeating my last name and date of birth to prove I’m really me (who the hell would pose as a cancer patient?)
- Sleeping with my support stocking on
- Having the inside of my mouth taste like an ashtray and not getting to smoke first
- Being too tired to play tennis, swim, ride a bike, walk up the stairs, cook dinner, host a playdate
- Short hair
On the bright side, I am not bald, throwing up, peeling, recovering from an abdominal incision, or dead. I can still drive, give directions, boss my kids around, surf the internet, and laugh at a dirty joke.
I think I need an attitude adjustment. Possibly an expensive spa treatment. Fortunately, I have one scheduled for Thursday morning. Hope I can drag my sad old carcass in there.
Thanks for listening. We now return you to your previously scheduled Eastern Seaboard Inferno of a day.
At least I can still nap.
I'm a two-and-a-half time ovarian cancer survivor who is not only determined to make it to sixty but also to look damn good while getting there. My two boys, husband, and dog are counting on me to get out of bed every day, so I might as well wear something cute and make each one COUNT. I'd love to hear from you about your odyssey - sharing makes it all easier to take. And laugh at.
The Carcinista 
sandhy said,
July 7, 2010 at 4:24 PM
Love the photo – and yes, so much better than dead – you crack me up some days. Don’t quite know how you do it!
x
cindy novick said,
July 7, 2010 at 4:25 PM
Well, sorry to hear you’re feeling weary….and rightfully so…my heart goes out to you and my hat is off to HOW GREAT YOU LOOK on that boat deck….SERIOUSLY, great legs etc…..add that to your list of ‘blessings’ too ((-:
Maurita said,
July 7, 2010 at 5:19 PM
I totally relate after 8 months of illness. I also learnt (finally) that there is no such thing as “beauty sleep” other wise I’d be $%##$% gorgeous, but my mirror doesn’t reflect that. Keep up the positive spirit.
tori said,
July 7, 2010 at 6:27 PM
Loved this:
•Repeating my last name and date of birth to prove I’m really me (who the hell would pose as a cancer patient?)
You definitely still have your sense of humor. BTW – Let me know if you’re up for visitors any time soon.
WhiteStone said,
July 7, 2010 at 7:39 PM
Repeating last name and bdate….the day I got a second opinion at Mayo there were actually THREE of us with the same name. In the same waiting room.
Love your nap photo!
helen said,
July 7, 2010 at 9:15 PM
You are amazing, Sarah. So glad we’ve re-connected.
Kim said,
July 7, 2010 at 11:02 PM
First, great legs. Might just be the motivation I need to start exercising again. It’s only been 6 years. Lol. Second, I had to prove my identity and recite my mothers birthplace when I had to go to my follow up mammo and I thought the exact same thing: who the heck would be trying to pose as me for this. If anything, I wanted to steal someone else’s identity.
Hang in there and enjoy the spa treatment tomorrow.
Catherine said,
July 8, 2010 at 12:35 AM
well at least you are not to tired to be funny. That was a good one. Sorry you are feeling crappy – can’t wait to see you in a couple weeks, crappy or not!
Melissa said,
July 8, 2010 at 1:09 AM
Thanks for the update. You deserve a fabulous spa day – hope you enjoy it!
Best,
Melissa
Liliana said,
July 8, 2010 at 8:17 AM
I am glad to see your post, even if you do sound ticked off. Best to you and enjoy the spa.
Liliana
Ann said,
July 9, 2010 at 1:46 PM
Girl, you look beautiful on the boat.
I’m actually kind of glad I’m too tired to cook, but that’s just me. 🙂