Let The Wild Goose Chase Begin
I'm comin' for ya, dude.
Hey! How was your Thanksgiving?
Really? That sounds nice… oh, mine? It was lovely, thanks. Yeah, everyone’s still speaking to each other… yep, kids got along and no one threw mashed potatoes. We missed the traffic by coming back Saturday night. So great to see everyone, but nice to be home.
What?
Oh, the scan results, right…
Um.
Yeah, those didn’t come out like we hoped. Like, really not like we hoped. Lungs: measurably worse. Pelvic tumors: growing. Hydronephrosis (back-up in my kidneys) worse. New lesions in sacrum and pelvic bones.
You see why I’ve been avoiding you.
On the “Action Items” side of the page, however, we have now two solid Phase I trial options (thank you, cancer research funding), one of which I’ll be starting next Wednesday. Pending my visit with the PPMD (urologist) tomorrow and scheduling my stents. Yes, lucky me, I’ll be getting ureter stents again so I can pee. (Jeez, now I’m not only like an old woman but an old man, too?) The study (Option #1) is an oral drug, taken (yea!!!) with food daily, so no fasting, no infusions (looking hard for the silver lining)…
As opposed to the study drug from last summer, this one attacks signaling proteins on multiple pathways at the same time, so there’s a higher chance of success. The study worked well for an ovarian patient (she was on it for ten months) at The Cancer Factory already, although eventually she progressed and has now moved on to another study (my Option #2). So there’s a reasonable hope that this will give me some more time.
Another bonus is that Option #2 has openings forecast for a few months yet, so if Option #1 doesn’t show results, I can slip right on to Option #2 after about three months or so.
What? Well, we don’t know what else is out there yet. That’s the problem with studies. There are new ones coming down the pike all the time, but we can’t really predict what or when.
So, yeah. That’s where we are today. No, I’m handling it okay. (Just don’t talk about the kids.) I haven’t started buying plane tickets yet, but I’ve stopped shopping for high-end, life-long couture, since I’m not sure I’ll get my money’s worth out of it. And no, I will NOT bequeath it to you new-with-tags, so quit asking.
God bless black humor.
I'm a two-and-a-half time ovarian cancer survivor who is not only determined to make it to sixty but also to look damn good while getting there. My two boys, husband, and dog are counting on me to get out of bed every day, so I might as well wear something cute and make each one COUNT. I'd love to hear from you about your odyssey - sharing makes it all easier to take. And laugh at.
The Carcinista 
Amy said,
November 30, 2010 at 11:28 AM
Sorry babe. That stinks. Like really, really, really stinks. No words over here.
It was lovely to see you (as always) over the holidays!
Mr. Wonderful said,
November 30, 2010 at 11:29 AM
That goose looks like its ready for a fight. LOL.
I agree, Thanksgiving was awesome. Great to see everyone and have a really nice time.
Here’s to hope!
Love you.
Me
Maggie said,
November 30, 2010 at 11:45 AM
Fucking cancer. Well, my hopes are, as always, for you and yours to enjoy some good times making memories – and it sounds like you did a good job of that over the holiday. One day at a time, eh? I’ll be thinking about you…..
janeroper said,
November 30, 2010 at 11:47 AM
Oh, man. That completely, totally sucks. I’m so sorry. And I hope you can get into those trials stet.
On a more important note: couldn’t you keep buying couture if you just sold the villa in Monaco? And maybe — if you must — the private jet?
Marianne said,
November 30, 2010 at 11:47 AM
Hi Sarah,
Wonderful post, always make me laugh in the face of cancer. Really what else can you do? We love you, and are here if you need anything, INCLUDING frequent flyer tickets at your disposal (I am totally serious!).
Love Love,
Marianne
tori said,
November 30, 2010 at 12:05 PM
Once more I’m just so so so so glad that you chose to fall in love with Mr. Wonderful while on a visit to Boston, and hence stay in the Boston area and have access to some of the best hospitals in the world and their trials.
Carla said,
November 30, 2010 at 12:35 PM
I am so sorry to hear your news. My mother is also fighting ovarian cancer. She just started a trial at Cedar Sinai. I’m curious, what drug you will be taking?? I’m not sure the name of hers but was wondering if it was the same trial….
Jennie said,
November 30, 2010 at 1:30 PM
God bless black humor, indeed! The news of the scans totally sucks however, your plan of attack with options 1 and 2 sounds very good. You and yours are in my daily thoughts and prayers. Please keep up the writing (when you’re up to it). Each post is such a gift to all of us. XO
Alicia said,
November 30, 2010 at 1:58 PM
Your are a doll, don’t lose your spirit!! Life is full of speed bumps and twists and turns, just tighten your seat belt and hold on. God bless you, and stay strong.
patti said,
November 30, 2010 at 3:05 PM
Oh, I so enjoy your black humour. We are in the same boat….you know the one with the big hole in the bottom. I have late stage fast moving OC, serous type and every new scan is a new scary time. Bodily functions, urination and the like when successful are a joyous occassion. Unlike you I am undecided about my clinical trial options or traditional chemo options. I have had 3 kicks at the can and I just don’t know if I am better off clinging to some quality of life as opposed to the new set of side effects each “line” brings with it.
I feel for you girl and like I said, so appreciate your approach to this. I look forward to reading your posts and Christopher Hitchen’s writing about this whole experience. Don’t know if you have come across any others with the great “kinda warped” view but would love to hear about them if you do.
Wishing you only good “stuff”
sandhy said,
November 30, 2010 at 5:46 PM
oh ffs. I’m so sorry. but the post made me chuckle a bit. let’s hope the bloody trials work eh?
FYI – a friend of mine was given a terminal diagnosis a while back – she is now NED…so there’s ALWAYS hope for change…I hope that helps.
thinking of you.
x
Ginger Armstrong said,
November 30, 2010 at 6:23 PM
Count me in for duty detail! Anything at all! Maybe I could strangle that “wild goose” or better yet cook it for the holidays. My prayers and thoughts are with you girl!
Sue Mellusi said,
November 30, 2010 at 6:54 PM
One day at a time, Sarah. As always….thinking of you 🙂
Carol said,
November 30, 2010 at 6:57 PM
I wish I had words. The only one that comes to mind is SHIT!
AnnBan said,
November 30, 2010 at 7:12 PM
Oh, crap. And every other expletive I can hurl at this *(*!@#*! disease. You, however, get nothing but love, respect and all best wishes for continued strength. You rock, You inspire. Bring on the trials, and may they be easy on you and yours.
Paige said,
November 30, 2010 at 9:59 PM
We LOVED having you for Thanksgiving. You’re the rock star you’ve always been, keep the spirit. Love and Hugs …P, J, S and J.
Connie Reeves said,
November 30, 2010 at 10:11 PM
You are amazing with such devastating news. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Kathleen said,
December 1, 2010 at 1:17 AM
Dear Carcinista,
Your news is most disturbing and saddens me.
I am hard pressed to believe that you have not tried every self-help wizardry, and alas, even good nutrition and exercise, to suck the life out of this creeping monster that has invaded your sacred temple.
I know I have.
But, I have to ask you anyway, have you ever visited the Optimum Health Institute either in San Diego, CA or Austin, Texas?
Have you stopped eating all animal products, especially dairy?
Do you eat only raw foods, nothing cooked above 105 degrees Fahrenheit?
I know you exercise.
Have you read the book, “The China Study” by T. Colin Campbell, PhD. and “Anticancer” by David Servan-Schreiber, M.D. ?
All the above may be worth a try, in addition, to whatever the medical professionals suggest.
My diagnosis, Stage 3C, Ovarian Cancer (June 2007) with one recurrence (Dec. 2009)
Unfortunately, I have no long track record to show you that the above is the health-saving path.
But, I thought I would contribute the above suggestions with the hopes it may help you, should you give it a try.
Wishing you Vibrant Health always, and that which brings you the most comfort right now!
Kathleen
Elaine said,
December 1, 2010 at 2:08 AM
Reseach, trials=hope. It is time to checkmate in this lousy game of chess
Black humor helps,,,stiff upper lip…stay calm and carry on and all that.
Here’s hoping this trial gets those protein pathways on the first option.
Sarah said,
December 1, 2010 at 7:30 AM
Yes, thank God for black humor. You do it so well. Ditto what Connie said above. Hugs of comfort and support.
Dee said,
December 1, 2010 at 1:29 PM
Boy your news really stinks. But the options you write about sound like the way to move forward.There are always new drugs in the pipeline.
I like your humor- a friend and I have a deal – whoever goes first – the other gets her shoes. But she won’t share her Stuart Weitzman shoes.
Danielle said,
December 1, 2010 at 4:09 PM
Totally SUCKS! I love you girl and hope I could be as strong as you. I’m so mad.
I have hope too.
You are in my prayers – let’s go trial!
Love
Danielle
David said,
December 2, 2010 at 8:19 AM
Sarah,
I am going for my scans next Friday…I am hopeful too and if they don’t turn out like I “hope” then I just might turn back your post for a little black comfort 🙂
Thank you for putting yourself out there…..
elizabeth george said,
December 2, 2010 at 3:26 PM
just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’m being treated for breast cancer, and I have cerebral palsy. I’m not in your position, but I do know struggle well. I just keep going. AND I’m glad to read that you do too.
Kathleen said,
December 2, 2010 at 5:23 PM
Sarah,
We’re the same age, same diagnosis, and yes I have two kids and drive a mini van. ( I don’t like to admit that last one to anyone) Got your post in the middle of Target and I started getting emotional. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. I’ll feel all the anger for you. I effin hate ovarian cancer. Life is so unfair. Thank you for your honesty and courage. Your story and posts have helped me through the course of my own disease. Kick ass on the clinical trial. I’ll be thinking of you and sending positive energy your way.
Denick said,
December 2, 2010 at 5:24 PM
Hi Sarah,
I know we rarely cross paths, but I wanted you to know how much I have been enjoying your blogs these last months. You have made me laugh out loud so many times with your mad writing skills! Thank you for putting yourself out there.
Please know that I keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.