A Hundred Gs, Part I

January 20, 2011 at 4:44 PM (Family, friends, Hair, Happy, Research, Treatment) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Alright, stop harassing me, I’m back.

A couple of items before I jump in:

  1. I don’t know who the 100+ people per day are who have been re-reading my last post over and over for the past month, but thanks. Your dedication is astounding.
  2. I hate winter.

The past month has been really insane. From the fabulous boots to the non-existent nephrostomy bag to the fact that my trial drug seems to be working. Yes, you heard me, it appears to be working.

I felt like death-warmed-over the week before Christmas, and Mr. W and I were having the tough discussions about what music to play at my memorial service, how pretty his next wife was allowed to be, etc. etc. I had aches and pains, took Dilaudid to get to sleep at night, had trouble with a flight of stairs. I was pretty out of it.

Then all of a sudden, with that fabulous news about my hugely resilient kidneys (and the onset of the action of my new Celexa prescription, coincidentally), things sorta turned around. Okay, I did spend 24 hours in bed with a stomach bug, but I wasn’t huffing the inhaler all the time; I wasn’t taking narcotics to sleep, and my symptoms (full all the time, pain in the cancerous nodes in my neck, groin) seemed to fade away.

Which brings us to the news, delivered last Monday, that my CA-125, previously in the 200s, had dropped to 79. Seventy-nine. Holy crow, is there a light at the end of this tunnel? And even if there isn’t, if the CT scan scheduled for the end of the month shows not stability but merely slowed progression, so what?

That’s right, I’m feeling grateful. It’s taken a long time to get to this point, but if all I get from this clinical trial is an extra two months without symptoms, I’ll take it. It has been an opportunity to feel like myself again — well, the latest incarnation of myself, with two-hour naps and no muscle tone — and to read out loud to my kids without getting winded; to not only have the energy to make dinner but to go to the grocery store and have the presence of mind to think of a recipe to make, collect all the ingredients, then move down the aisle and see another idea pop up. (And to be grateful as well for the freezer full of lovingly prepared casseroles to thaw and bake on the nights when I’m beat.)

And to feel gratitude that my hair is too long and desperately in need of highlights, but sprouting from my very own head.

Without this two months of feeling better, I might have missed this:

The A-man and his post-bar-fight face.

Tomorrow: Part II.

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  1. Stephanie said,

    Such wonderful news! So happy for you.

  2. Jennie said,

    Can you see me doing my happy dance right now?!? So happy for you…and Mr. W…and those boys of yours. Have you read The Anatomy of Hope by Dr. Groopman? If not, you should. I think anything is possible for the results of your next CT. XO

  3. tori said,

    You rock. Your CA-125 score rocks. And most definitely this new trial drug rocks. Just the news I’ve been hoping and praying for and it has completely made my day, week, and month. Absolutley Fabulous.

  4. JQP said,

    OOOHHHH BABY! I was one of those 100 people looking for an update…but this post was sooooooooo worth the wait!:) Rock on sista!

    • Ruthann said,

      Avid follower so happy to read this post! WAHOOOOOOOOO

  5. Tom said,

    Great to hear the news. Glad to see you are back to your old self. Thanks for sharing it with us.

  6. connie said,

    Great news indeed! !
    So happy for you all.

  7. Mr. Wonderful said,

    Did we ever come to a conclusion about how pretty my next wife is allowed to be?

  8. Maggie said,

    What a wonderful gift, I am so happy for you all. Love you boy’s pic!

  9. Amanda Feeks said,

    Love it! Love it! Love it!

  10. Carol said,

    Woohoo. May this just continue and continue.

  11. Joan & Jim said,

    The best news we have heard in this new year!
    Love to you, et al,
    J & J

    P.S. Just wondered if you are really wearing those gorgeous boots in all this snow and slush….

  12. Liza said,

    what a wonderful reflection! Keep it coming!

  13. Jennifer said,

    FAAABULOUSSS! Great news! Feels good to be greatful, doesn’t it?

  14. Dee said,

    I probably counted for at least 3 of those hits on your last post- kept coming to check up on what was up.
    Thanks for sharing the good news! Can’t wait for part II

  15. Taliba said,


  16. Sarah said,


  17. Amy said,

    Absolfrickingbelievablably wonderful news. Stay fabulous my dear!!!

  18. Adrienne said,

    Oh, Honey! Its working! I’m not sure what exactly..but who cares!

  19. AnnaR said,

    Fantastic news Sarah. So glad that you are feeling better. This post so reminds me that it’s the little things that matter. And who knew grey hair could feel so damn good???

  20. Liliana said,

    On this cold, dark winter morning, you have made the sun shine in Michigan! Hugs and best wishes to you. Liliana

  21. Stacey said,

    Freaking Amazing! Yay. So happy to read this. Keep going.

  22. Elaine said,

    What great news! Truly amazing!

  23. AnnBan said,

    Thank you for showing us true grace. May your days be filled with love, light, laughter…

  24. Michelle said,

    So glad to read your good news! Finally, something is working! Your son is adorable!

  25. Kim C. said,

    Wow! I’m beyond speechless. Happy happy joy joy!! And there will be no need for a second wife! =)

  26. Nikki said,

    I was one of the 100+ NOT enjoying rereading the last post. I guess that means you should probably post more often so you don’t have 100+ people rereading the same thing for a month. Congrats! Great news!!

  27. Jody Schoger said,

    Precious. I’m so glad I stopped by to read your incredible post and learn more about you. Wow.
    thanks so much,

  28. Nina the slackmistress said,


  29. Carol said,

    That is great news. I am stage 4 breast cancer that has gone into my bones and lung, as of now I am in remission for a little over a year now, I am on an oral treatment and all my scans so far are showing no new tumors. As you said our families rely on us to keep everything in tow. Some mornings it takes me alittle longer to get moving but I do. I will include you in my prayers and I have great faith that with each day there is something new that is tested and will be of help to us. A good positive attitude and faith is most important. God Bless You

  30. Patricia said,

    Overwhelmed with emotion ….such great news!! xxx, patricia

  31. Gail H said,

    Greeat reading this

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